She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
