I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
