he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
