you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
