I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize
