I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Randomize
