Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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