why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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