Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
