Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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