I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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