...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
