I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Randomize
