idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
