it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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