dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
