god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
