You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
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