If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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