His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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