I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
