Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
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