he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
