Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
