Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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