Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
