it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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