Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
