question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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