I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
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