i permit you to call me
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
