I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
