I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I looked at my own cervix.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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