Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
