Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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