is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
