he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Randomize
