Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
