this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
