I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I woke up under a house in Key West
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize