One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
