why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he was CRYING into my vagina
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?