We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize