Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????