you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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