If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?