just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize