dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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