Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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