I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
