Dual....:-)
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
