Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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