Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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