do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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