He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
