Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
