these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
sex in a hospital.. check
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize