He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
