ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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