I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize