He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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