If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
i think my cat just said my name.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
