I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
