Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
